I wrote the previous post on Mother's Day, just before I left for church. I was so full of wisdom and comfort for those whose lives are not exactly perfect... sort of like mine. I would certainly like to have an "ideal" life now, but even more, I would like to have had an "ideal" home and family when my children were growing up. Even more than that, I would like to have been an "ideal" mother when my children were growing up.
Trust me, both of my children could tell you stuff that would scare you, if you knew them about me. Fortunately, they haven't... so far.
So, then I went to church and directed the music in Sacrament meeting. It was Mother's Day, so I had chosen the following hymn. As I sang it, I had to exhibit strict control to stop myself from laughing. After my earlier post, it was ironic to sing these words. Peace and plenty? Hate and envy ne'er annoy? Time doth softly, sweetly glide? Making life a bliss complete?
Yeah, right. LOL
Love at Home
1. There is beauty all around
When there’s love at home;
There is joy in ev’ry sound
When there’s love at home.
Peace and plenty here abide,
Smiling sweet on ev’ry side.
Time doth softly, sweetly glide
When there’s love at home.
Love at home, love at home;
Time doth softly, sweetly glide
When there’s love at home.
2. In the cottage there is joy
When there’s love at home;
Hate and envy ne’er annoy
When there’s love at home.
Roses bloom beneath our feet;
All the earth’s a garden sweet,
Making life a bliss complete
When there’s love at home.
Love at home, love at home;
Making life a bliss complete
When there’s love at home.
3. Kindly heaven smiles above
When there’s love at home;
All the world is filled with love
When there’s love at home.
Sweeter sings the brooklet by;
Brighter beams the azure sky.
Oh, there’s One who smiles on high
When there’s love at home.
Love at home, love at home;
Oh, there’s One who smiles on high
When there’s love at home.
Text and music: John Hugh McNaughton, 1829–1891
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I Have A Family Here On Earth
I love watching home improvement shows. I love to watch Ty build a house from scratch; everything completely perfect at the end, running smoothly all the way, in just seven days.
There is another type of home improvement show. In these shows, things don't go exactly as planned. The people work too hard, too fast, too desperately in order to have everything perfect right NOW.
Isn't that the way we sometimes work on building our family? We think that lots of people have perfect families, perfect children, perfect relationships with their spouses, parents and in-laws. Lots of people are having wonderful family home evenings where the children's minds and hearts are opened to the Spirit and their little testimonies grow rapidly and unwaveringly. Lots of people have harmonious, peaceful, uncluttered homes. They don't have to run through the house grabbing things and throwing them in the back bedroom when the doorbell rings. They can quote scripture from memory, including chapter and verse, instead of saying, "It says somewhere something about....". They never raise their voices to their children, never threaten to throw away all their toys or knock them into next week. They never raise their voice to their spouses, never sulk or pout or whine.
We think that if we were good enough, everything in our lives would run smoothly and be perfect all the time. Life doesn't work that way. We are where we are in our progress and everyone else is where they are. Building our family relationships with spouse, children, brothers, sisters, cousins and parents is a work in progress. We build as best we can where we are. There is no magic wand and there is no finish line. And there is no time when we can say, "I'm finished, all done!" Our relationships with our families, forward and back, continue to flow.
I am blessed with a great family. Parents who loved me and raised me with good values and work ethic, who kept me safe when the world could not. A brother and sister I grew up with, played with and squabbled with and love who have grown even dearer over lo, these many years. They are married to wonderful people whom I also love dearly.
I have two children who grew into charming, funny, intelligent adults, in spite of me. I have two grandsons who are growing up way too fast for me, who are sweet and smart and caring.
And I have Ronald darling. How much more could I ask for? 'Nough said?
There is another type of home improvement show. In these shows, things don't go exactly as planned. The people work too hard, too fast, too desperately in order to have everything perfect right NOW.
Isn't that the way we sometimes work on building our family? We think that lots of people have perfect families, perfect children, perfect relationships with their spouses, parents and in-laws. Lots of people are having wonderful family home evenings where the children's minds and hearts are opened to the Spirit and their little testimonies grow rapidly and unwaveringly. Lots of people have harmonious, peaceful, uncluttered homes. They don't have to run through the house grabbing things and throwing them in the back bedroom when the doorbell rings. They can quote scripture from memory, including chapter and verse, instead of saying, "It says somewhere something about....". They never raise their voices to their children, never threaten to throw away all their toys or knock them into next week. They never raise their voice to their spouses, never sulk or pout or whine.
We think that if we were good enough, everything in our lives would run smoothly and be perfect all the time. Life doesn't work that way. We are where we are in our progress and everyone else is where they are. Building our family relationships with spouse, children, brothers, sisters, cousins and parents is a work in progress. We build as best we can where we are. There is no magic wand and there is no finish line. And there is no time when we can say, "I'm finished, all done!" Our relationships with our families, forward and back, continue to flow.
I am blessed with a great family. Parents who loved me and raised me with good values and work ethic, who kept me safe when the world could not. A brother and sister I grew up with, played with and squabbled with and love who have grown even dearer over lo, these many years. They are married to wonderful people whom I also love dearly.
I have two children who grew into charming, funny, intelligent adults, in spite of me. I have two grandsons who are growing up way too fast for me, who are sweet and smart and caring.
And I have Ronald darling. How much more could I ask for? 'Nough said?
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Ah-Ha Moments
I recently attended "Time Out for Women", an interesting, uplifting, quirky weekend shindig. There were speakers, musicians and lots of stuff to buy. I went with a group of 9 other women who were also interesting, uplifting and quirky. I had a wonderful time, talked too much, slept too little, ate too much and spent WAY too much money! But I had a blast!
We arrived on Friday evening, in time to eat dinner and attend the Friday evening session. The speakers were great, the music... not so much. I thought that opinion was a personal preference issue. However.
After dinner and the evening session, most of us ended up back at the hotel in our bedroom and talked for hours. What a hoot that was! Two of us in the room were in my age bracket (pretty old) and the rest were mothers of children still at home and very young children. Those young mothers were very nice to us old broads, laughed at our jokes and didn't do any of that "just smile and nod until she shuts up" stuff. Or if they did, they were very good at it - I didn't notice. LOL
Oh, yeah - back to the music. The musician was one I've seen in workshops; a great teacher of music history and style. But he can't sing, although he did. He composes a lot of music and everything he performed was his own. I didn't like it. The last piece, I suppose, was intended to be the spiritual highlight of his performance, but it wasn't. It went on for decades... okay, many minutes. And it was very very very very very very repetitive.
I didn't say anything about it during our apres' event chat but someone braver than I am, did. Turns out we all had basically the same opinion. Some of his remarks were interesting but the music? Nope.
One of the ladies was not a member of our church. When we began speaking frankly about the musician, we asked her what she thought. She figured that maybe that's just the way music is done in our church! LOL
But back to the title of this post.... While we were talking, one of the sisters asked if anyone had an Ah-ha moment. Something that just popped out. I had, but just couldn't remember it! I meant to take notes, but forgot the paper and pen with which to do that. It took me until lunch the next day to remember. But here it is:
Self-discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. Duh! I know what I want, but I have not been demonstrating the behaviors that will make it happen. I have a list of things that I want; and an even longer list of the things I need to do to make them happen. And an really much longer list of the things I am doing that get in the way. So that's my new wise saying.... I'll let you know how that's working for me!
We arrived on Friday evening, in time to eat dinner and attend the Friday evening session. The speakers were great, the music... not so much. I thought that opinion was a personal preference issue. However.
After dinner and the evening session, most of us ended up back at the hotel in our bedroom and talked for hours. What a hoot that was! Two of us in the room were in my age bracket (pretty old) and the rest were mothers of children still at home and very young children. Those young mothers were very nice to us old broads, laughed at our jokes and didn't do any of that "just smile and nod until she shuts up" stuff. Or if they did, they were very good at it - I didn't notice. LOL
Oh, yeah - back to the music. The musician was one I've seen in workshops; a great teacher of music history and style. But he can't sing, although he did. He composes a lot of music and everything he performed was his own. I didn't like it. The last piece, I suppose, was intended to be the spiritual highlight of his performance, but it wasn't. It went on for decades... okay, many minutes. And it was very very very very very very repetitive.
I didn't say anything about it during our apres' event chat but someone braver than I am, did. Turns out we all had basically the same opinion. Some of his remarks were interesting but the music? Nope.
One of the ladies was not a member of our church. When we began speaking frankly about the musician, we asked her what she thought. She figured that maybe that's just the way music is done in our church! LOL
But back to the title of this post.... While we were talking, one of the sisters asked if anyone had an Ah-ha moment. Something that just popped out. I had, but just couldn't remember it! I meant to take notes, but forgot the paper and pen with which to do that. It took me until lunch the next day to remember. But here it is:
Self-discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. Duh! I know what I want, but I have not been demonstrating the behaviors that will make it happen. I have a list of things that I want; and an even longer list of the things I need to do to make them happen. And an really much longer list of the things I am doing that get in the way. So that's my new wise saying.... I'll let you know how that's working for me!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Hoof in Mouth Disease
I know you've never said anything stupid, right? I have occasionally. Rarely. Infrequently. Seldom. Once in a freaking while!
For instance. I was at the Bishop's storehouse several months ago, maybe a couple of years ago. Working along side a nice guy, friendly, cheerful and a little shy. So I asked him where he'd come from and how long he'd been in the ward.
Eighteen months! A year and a half and I had failed to notice. Or, if I had noticed, I had forgotten... or failed to recognize him. Yeah.
And trust me, I never ask someone when they are due unless they TOLD me they were pregnant! In the last 15 minutes!
I have a couple of other examples that are still too humiliating to recount even after 20 or 25 years.
But yesterday there were witnesses.
I worked for a company for 25 years. I knew a lot of people really well. Now I work for a different company and many of the people I knew before are here. A nice cozy arrangement. A woman and her son worked there and work here. Not in the same department, but in the same building. Yesterday I got on the elevator and they were both on it, along with several others. They were headed downstairs, they had pushed the elevator for the main floor, they had their jackets on and she had her purse. I logically presumed that they were leaving the building. So I thought I would be cute. So I asked a question.
"Where do you two think you are going?" I asked.
I thought later of all the things that could be going on and for which there would be no good answer. There could have been worse answers than the one I got, but still.
When she replied, I heard the indrawn breaths of the others on the elevator. Her nephew had committed suicide and they were leaving to be with family.
She turned to me as soon as she'd responded and said "You couldn't have known." I hugged them both and expressed sympathy but felt like dirt.
So, would it have been better to have said nothing? I wouldn't have been a dim wit, but she would have gotten no sympathy.
Maybe I just won't try to be cute anymore.
For instance. I was at the Bishop's storehouse several months ago, maybe a couple of years ago. Working along side a nice guy, friendly, cheerful and a little shy. So I asked him where he'd come from and how long he'd been in the ward.
Eighteen months! A year and a half and I had failed to notice. Or, if I had noticed, I had forgotten... or failed to recognize him. Yeah.
And trust me, I never ask someone when they are due unless they TOLD me they were pregnant! In the last 15 minutes!
I have a couple of other examples that are still too humiliating to recount even after 20 or 25 years.
But yesterday there were witnesses.
I worked for a company for 25 years. I knew a lot of people really well. Now I work for a different company and many of the people I knew before are here. A nice cozy arrangement. A woman and her son worked there and work here. Not in the same department, but in the same building. Yesterday I got on the elevator and they were both on it, along with several others. They were headed downstairs, they had pushed the elevator for the main floor, they had their jackets on and she had her purse. I logically presumed that they were leaving the building. So I thought I would be cute. So I asked a question.
"Where do you two think you are going?" I asked.
I thought later of all the things that could be going on and for which there would be no good answer. There could have been worse answers than the one I got, but still.
When she replied, I heard the indrawn breaths of the others on the elevator. Her nephew had committed suicide and they were leaving to be with family.
She turned to me as soon as she'd responded and said "You couldn't have known." I hugged them both and expressed sympathy but felt like dirt.
So, would it have been better to have said nothing? I wouldn't have been a dim wit, but she would have gotten no sympathy.
Maybe I just won't try to be cute anymore.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Age Is Relative
Ronald darling and I have both had birthdays recently. That's a good news and bad news event. Good news - we are no longer sitting on an age that ends in zero (the scary ones). Bad news - we are another year older (but not deeper in debt).* Good news - we are still on the right side of the dirt. Bad news - we are closer to the time that we will be on the wrong side of the dirt.
And look at the clothing the operator is wearing. When I graduated from high school young women were not permitted to wear trousers, pants or jeans to school. If our skirts didn't reach the floor when we were on our knees on the gym floor, we were sent home. Really.
My daughter (one of the reasons I occasionally feel old) was talking about how old she feels. I understand how she feels. She mentioned some reasons she is feeling old. For instance, she remembers using a rotary dial phone. (Let me know if you need me to tell you what that is.) My first job? Switchboard operator for Ohio Bell, a now illegal monopoly telephone company. One ringy dingy, right?**
And look at the clothing the operator is wearing. When I graduated from high school young women were not permitted to wear trousers, pants or jeans to school. If our skirts didn't reach the floor when we were on our knees on the gym floor, we were sent home. Really.
Speaking of grade school, we didn't have tornado drills; we had atomic bomb drills. Run to the inside wall, crouch and cover your head. It was really going to help when we were within striking distance on a SAC base during the Cuban missile crisis.***
My first car? A 1966 Renault. It looked sort of like this only a solid blue.
My first car? A 1966 Renault. It looked sort of like this only a solid blue.
You could go to the movies on Saturday, see a double feature, a cartoon and a newsreel.
Donna Reed, Harriet Nelson and Margaret Anderson were my idea of the perfect wife and mother.****
All flight attendants were good looking women called stewardesses.
Airplanes had propellers, not jet engines. Even the ones that flew for 18 hours to get you to Morrocco.
If you needed help in a math class you used a slide rule.*****
Milk in glass bottles (quarts), eggs and bread were delivered to the door. You put the empty milk bottles in the box on the porch to be picked up by the milkman. We didn't know we were recycling.
We drove cross country every year, but the road only had two lanes, one coming and one going.
When we were driving cross country, mom bought a loaf of bread and a pound of bologna for lunch. Fast food had not been invented.
*Did you catch the old song reference?
*Did you catch the old song reference?
**Did you catch the old television show reference?
***I know, you never heard of a SAC base.
****Do I have to tell you everything?
*****I'd show you how to use it, but I forget.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Saturday Afternoons
Ronald darling is an interesting man. When we were younger, a few decades ago, Saturday mornings were full of things to do and tasks to accomplish. No sleeping in, no lazing away the day; it was go, go, go! If we were still in the house at 10:00am, it was another day shot!
He was cute, but annoying at times.
Now, we serve at the temple on Saturday mornings. We are up and out the door by 6:30, working in the most spiritual atmosphere. Then, maybe a meal on the road and home by 4:30 or 5:00. Nothing shot about the day at all.
But the temple is closed for two weeks and we have no planned activities. This morning we went to the barber, the bank and the grocery. Home by noon with all the scheduled tasks completed. What to do with the afternoon? Me? I'm in the recliner with the laptop. Ronald darling turned on the television and started flipping channels. For awhile he was watching reruns of the House and Senate on C-Span. Fortunately he got tired of watching the rants repeated and started flipping again. And then he found this. He didn't go any further, we've been watching for about 45 minutes. Well, he has; I'm still on the laptop. Does anyone else watch this?
He was cute, but annoying at times.
Now, we serve at the temple on Saturday mornings. We are up and out the door by 6:30, working in the most spiritual atmosphere. Then, maybe a meal on the road and home by 4:30 or 5:00. Nothing shot about the day at all.
But the temple is closed for two weeks and we have no planned activities. This morning we went to the barber, the bank and the grocery. Home by noon with all the scheduled tasks completed. What to do with the afternoon? Me? I'm in the recliner with the laptop. Ronald darling turned on the television and started flipping channels. For awhile he was watching reruns of the House and Senate on C-Span. Fortunately he got tired of watching the rants repeated and started flipping again. And then he found this. He didn't go any further, we've been watching for about 45 minutes. Well, he has; I'm still on the laptop. Does anyone else watch this?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sometimes I Like Opera
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Qualify, Recognize and Follow
When we receive a Christmas present or a birthday present, that means someone loves us.
When I was 16, I did not get a car for my birthday. I wanted one, but I didn't get it. If I had, that gift would have come with qualifiers. Learn to drive, pass the test and maintain a safe driving record. If not, the car sits in the garage in standby mode. The gift of the Holy Ghost also comes with qualifiers. The gift means that Heavenly Father loves us. He doesn't want us to be alone, without guidance. But there are qualifiers for being able to use the gift of the Holy Ghost. We have to be worthy, we have to recognize it and we have to follow it.
Why wouldn't we do that? There are lots of reasons - time contraints, distractions and lack of understanding. But the gift is there, the promises that come with it are there. We must take advantage of the gift that Heavenly Father has given us. He loves us and wants us to have that cmfort and insight.
Don't park the car in the garage and leave it.
When I was 16, I did not get a car for my birthday. I wanted one, but I didn't get it. If I had, that gift would have come with qualifiers. Learn to drive, pass the test and maintain a safe driving record. If not, the car sits in the garage in standby mode. The gift of the Holy Ghost also comes with qualifiers. The gift means that Heavenly Father loves us. He doesn't want us to be alone, without guidance. But there are qualifiers for being able to use the gift of the Holy Ghost. We have to be worthy, we have to recognize it and we have to follow it.
Why wouldn't we do that? There are lots of reasons - time contraints, distractions and lack of understanding. But the gift is there, the promises that come with it are there. We must take advantage of the gift that Heavenly Father has given us. He loves us and wants us to have that cmfort and insight.
Don't park the car in the garage and leave it.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Prayers for Haiti
The First Presidency message on Haiti was read in our Sacrament Meeting this morning. It was sweet and tender and called for members of the Church to donate "as their means allow in order to help our Haitian brothers and sisters". It acknowledged the difficulty that many are experiencing because of the recession, and the donations that have already been made.
Then it went on to the other needs; it took me back to my questions about prayer. The statement says:
"Money is not the only need in Haiti. People are frightened, bewildered, and wholly uncertain about their future. In addition to what people can do in helping with food, water and shelter, there needs to be a calming influence over that troubled nation. We invite our people everywhere to supplicate God for a spirit of calm and peace among the people as urgent aid and reconstruction efforts continue."
Goodness knows that Haiti is not the only troubled nation, I guess I should be praying for all or at least most of them. And who doesn't need a spirit of calm and peace? And how many are frightened, bewildered and wholly uncertain about their future?
I know individuals and families who are dealing with illness, sorrow, family issues and economic crisis. The Lord's instruction is help where possible and pray for them. I think my prayer roll has become a reality. I will remember the people of Haiti in my prayers and I will remember you.
Then it went on to the other needs; it took me back to my questions about prayer. The statement says:
"Money is not the only need in Haiti. People are frightened, bewildered, and wholly uncertain about their future. In addition to what people can do in helping with food, water and shelter, there needs to be a calming influence over that troubled nation. We invite our people everywhere to supplicate God for a spirit of calm and peace among the people as urgent aid and reconstruction efforts continue."
Goodness knows that Haiti is not the only troubled nation, I guess I should be praying for all or at least most of them. And who doesn't need a spirit of calm and peace? And how many are frightened, bewildered and wholly uncertain about their future?
I know individuals and families who are dealing with illness, sorrow, family issues and economic crisis. The Lord's instruction is help where possible and pray for them. I think my prayer roll has become a reality. I will remember the people of Haiti in my prayers and I will remember you.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Humility
This time it's not about me! Honest!
I was reading a story about the president. He was talking about the need for healthcare for everyone. In doing so, he brought up a campaign worker who had developed cancer with no health insurance in place. She fought the good fight and lost. Upon her death, she left instructions that she be buried in an Obama t-shirt.
Now, if he had told her story, focusing on her courage, the tragedy of her loss and left it at that it would have made his point perfectly. But he carried it one step too far, and turned the focus back on himself. It was all about him again.
Which brought to mind a song that I've always liked. Well, always since 1980 when Mac Davis recorded it. So I went to my friend You Tube to find a video of the song. And then my focus changed. While I still think this applies to the president; the video is too cute because it features one of my favorite TV characters, Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo.
So here you go!
I was reading a story about the president. He was talking about the need for healthcare for everyone. In doing so, he brought up a campaign worker who had developed cancer with no health insurance in place. She fought the good fight and lost. Upon her death, she left instructions that she be buried in an Obama t-shirt.
Now, if he had told her story, focusing on her courage, the tragedy of her loss and left it at that it would have made his point perfectly. But he carried it one step too far, and turned the focus back on himself. It was all about him again.
Which brought to mind a song that I've always liked. Well, always since 1980 when Mac Davis recorded it. So I went to my friend You Tube to find a video of the song. And then my focus changed. While I still think this applies to the president; the video is too cute because it features one of my favorite TV characters, Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo.
So here you go!
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