I didn't write this; I wish I did.
Jedi don't pick their noses, and other things I never thought I'd say
I always planned on speaking cheerful, positively constructed words of guidance to my children — never making "no" statements, but rather describing what actions they should take instead, making encouraging conversation, and never letting slip a snarky comment. That, of course, was before I became the mother of small boys. Here are words I never thought would come out of my mouth.
10. Don't lick that railing.
9. Don't pick your nose.
8. Don't lick your brother.
7. That bag is not a toy.
6. That's a big poop. Good job.
5. Bye-bye, poop.
4. If you lick that cookie, that's the one you take.
3. Big boys don't pick their noses.
2. Don't lick anything.
1. Jedi don't pick their noses.
Please tell me you've said worse.
Monica 1:02 p.m. Feb. 26, 2009
My three year old son got on an elevator and the doors before I could grab him. When I caught up to him he sadly said "Mommy, I on the alligator and you weren't there."
My response? "Honey, you should never ride alligators without your mother!"
Or "If you want some cheese, how about you ask me and I'll cut you a piece, rather than taking bites out of the block."
Or how about: "We don't pour corn flakes in the toilet" Yup, I actually said it.
Ken 1:36 p.m. Feb. 26, 2009
Dad's get to say things too -
Don't put the gerbil on your sister!
Who is eating the shortening?
What did you do with my golf balls? Let's go unplug the toilet - again.