Thursday, December 31, 2009

Looking Back or Looking Forward?

So is the cup half full or half empty? Coulda been worse, coulda been better? Tomorrow's another day!

Our year has been very good. Our health is still good, the aches and pains come and go. As long as they go, it's okay by me. Our family is almost all moved away, but we have great friends here. (Although some of those have moved too. You know who you are!) But we got to see most of our family this year and look forward to seeing the others next year.

I've been more politically active this year than ever before and will continue. I wrote, I called, I emailed, I marched. Ronald darling mostly yelled at C-SPAN. Next year looks to be more of the same.

We finally, after years and years and years, are OUT OF DEBT!! You have no idea how good that feels. We have not been wise stewards of money these past few decades - ain't that a long time! - but from now on? No more debt. I will never be indentured again!

The problem with being out of debt is that I have money that I could spend but must save. I could easily be a shopaholic; is there a 12 step program for that? But I can control myself. Really.

Can't wait!! Happy New Year!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Almost Christmas

I love Christmas. I love the lights and the decorations and the carols. Don't care about presents anymore. I love celebrating the birth of the Savior of mankind and me! Nativity sets are my favorite decorations. I have several, and finally decided that it wasn't sacriligeous to put one in the bathroom.

We didn't put up a tree last year and have maintained that tradition this year. Not that I'm too old and decrepit to decorate it; I think walking around and around a seven-foot tree stringing 350 lights got old!

I love the Christmas story in Luke. The shepherds abiding in the field, no room in the inn, the herlad angels and the multitude of the heavenly hosts.

Which brings me to the Christmas music. Love it, love it, love it!

The sacred.

The secular.

The inbetween.

And the fun.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Wonderful Temple Trip

Our Relief Society had a great temple trip Thursday evening, including a special Chapel session with Sister Grammer. She asked us to write what we felt when we got home. So, I'm a little bit late.
I love being in the temple; it is peaceful and calming, and sometimes enlightening. The best part of this trip was being with so many sisters in the ward.
Now, if we'd just arranged to meet for dinner...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

How To Beat Aging

Maybe I'll take up dancing....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Creative People

Creative people drive me crazy! I try so hard not to be envious or covetous or jealous or any of those other sinful things that say that I want what they have, but creative people make if difficult. For instance, I went to a great Relief Society meeting on Tuesday that was presented by creative people. The lessons were amazing! The decorations were phenomenal! The food was fantastic!
I didn't take notes and wish I had. I was telling Ronald darling about them and reminded him that they never do anything like this in priesthood meetings. Only the sisters get the really good stuff!
I loved all of the lessons; growing closer to the Lord, building our relationships and being empathetic and charitable. The sweetness and humility of the instructors was a great example.
But who thinks up this stuff? The theme was mall shopping, a natural for most women, and the lessons were about all the things you can't buy - they're priceless.
Thanx to all of the sisters who planned the meeting, decorated the rooms, taught the lessons, prepared the food, made all of the handouts and let their creativity shine!
Here is a picture of someone else's creativity, don't know where it came from. I would never have thought of it, but some of you will do it. Let me know when you do.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

My daughter posted her 20 favorite movies... only 3 or 4 would make my list. Many of hers are high-brow - well, except for that Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That's not high brow! LOL

On the other hand, one of my guilty pleasures is another Monty Python flick - The Life of Brian. Not the whole thing just the song that ends the movie "Look on the Bright Side of Life". It's a great song, but the setting is definitely not.

So what else is on that list...

Have you ever noticed that music pops up in my life a bunch?
I love the piano, and would do anything to play well, except practice.

But here's a pianist that I've always loved. You youngsters will never have heard of him. Liberace!

And then, I love romantic love songs.. especially this one by John Denver. Who? I knew you'd say that!

Hmmm.... other guilty pleasures.

Chinese Food.
Hot bread and butter.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Ronald darling.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Ahh, Bach!

Yesterday was my first concert with the Bach Society of Dayton. The concert was recorded by the local public radio station and will be broadcast next Saturday morning at 10:00am. Just so ya know.

This was almost my first performance with a live orchestra, and they were GOOD! We were performing in a church with a slate floor and high vaulted ceilings the sound was gi-normous! During the first piece, it hit me. Music proves that God exists. The complexity of the vocal parts, blended by 48 individuals and the orchestra's score performed by 20 people, and the genius of the composer... has to be blessings and inspiration.

Here is a recording, not us, of the first movement of the oratorio "Jauchzet, frohlocket". Did I mention that we were singing in German? Yes! What a blast!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Best Part of Conference

There was a wonderful spirit and fantastic talks at General Conference. I will comment later on some of those. But the very very BEST part of conference was this:

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Why Did I Go?

So, why was I in Washington, DC on September 12? Did my one voice make a difference? I carried no sign, did my presence matter? I don't know how many people were there, most news networks said tens of thousands. MSNBC' first report said hundreds of thousands. Optimistic estimates said over one million. These photos were taken at the staging area at Freedom Square. Tons of nice people, a few whacko signs and a couple of nuts. We were in the Ohio section where, evidently EVERYONE was an OSU fan.

The march started early, because the crowd was larger than anticipated, the streets around us had to be closed and people were still arriving. Eventually they closed the area to busses; people were walking in from across the river. It was an amazing day.

We sang, we chanted - mostly O H - I O! LOL Buckeyes!
But why did I go? At the end of the day my feet were ready to explode, I could barely walk and I broke a promise to my daughter and myself to do a little additional sight seeing. Guess I'll have to go back.
But why did I go? Because one person, alone, can do something. A few hundred thousand persons, together, can do more.
I went to stand as witness. This country should return to it's roots and it's citizens should take responsibility for themselves and for each other. But in taking responsibility for my neighbor, I do NOT mean that the government should mandate that I do so. We are a generous loving people and will watch out for each other. And if someone chooses not to do so, there should be no law that says he must.
There were a few other good signs....

Friday, September 11, 2009

Have You Forgotten?

Some days are more difficult to remember than others. Not because the memory has faded, but because it is too clear. The older you get, the more of those days there are. I pray I never see anything like this again.

God bless America.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Amazing Expansion of Missionary Work

Elder Jeffrey R Holland visited 7 African countries in 16 days. Among other things, he dedicated the countries of Cameroon and Rwanda for missionary work. There are already members there. In one stake conference 56 brothers were sustained to receive the Melchizedek priesthood. It is amazing that the work goes on at the rate it is. During one of the meetings a children's choir sang, conducted by a 9 year old boy.

In this picture, Elder Holland is dedicating the country of Cameroon for missionary work.

This is a portion of what he said in the dedicatory prayer on a hilltop in Rwanda:

"We are doing all we can, Father in Heaven, to reach to heaven. We ask Thee with great affection, loyalty and love that Thou would bring heaven down to us. We ask that Thou would receive us here, as we stand tip-toe to enter Thy presence, feel Thy Spirit and build Thy kingdom."

The sweetness of what he said brought me to tears.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Trials and Tribulations

Not mine, just in general. I read this the other day:

"It is wrong to assume that the more righteous one is, or the more diligently one strives to keep his or her covenants with the Lord, the less suffering one will have to endure. The promise is that he or she will be blessed, though the blessing may be the strength to endure suffering. All suffer -- the just and the unjust. But the unjust live as well with the consequences of their own sins. This is the way life is arranged. God does not sit around wondering what test to throw up before you next. Such tests are integral to life -- they go with the territory."
- Robert S Wood (The Complete Christian, p 95)

Two scriptures come to mind. First, Mat 5:45 ....for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Every day the sun rises, the birds sing and the flowers bloom. On the other hand, storms come, disease and disaster strike. And those things happen to everyone, good, bad or indifferent. There is no gurarantee that if we are good little boys and girls that we will be rewarded in this life. Too bad about your luck if that's what you were expecting.

The second scripture is 1 Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

My mother, when she was feeling particularly put upon, did not believe this scripture. She thought that whatever happened, God would get you through it with little or no effort on your part. If she had to work at it, or if she had to make the move toward God, to lean on him.. that meant he wasn't making her able to bear the burden. But as Elder Wood says, the blessing may be the ability to endure.

My life has been an easy one compared to many, difficult compared to some. But the more I lean on the Lord, the easier the burdens are to bear. They don't go away, at least not most of them, but they are easier to bear. Sometimes so easy that I forget they are there. A final scripture, Mosiah 24:13-15
And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Lessons I Thought I Learned

My neighbor died the other night. He was in his jammies, sitting on the edge of the bed, laid down and was gone. There was no sign that he struggled at all. Just the way I want to go some day, decades from now. We called 911 of course, and they tried to resuscitate him. I understand that they did get him breathing, briefly, but he was pronounced dead later.
His wife is coping, but she has some difficult times coming up, not just the loss of the husband that she loves. Bob handled all of the finances for the family, and he did it online. I'm not sure she knows how to turn on the computer; she definitely doesn't know any of his passwords. She has a friend who promised to teach her how to use it, and of course, Ronald darling volunteered me to do it. lol
He took her to the funeral home today to get everything straightened out, she had prepaid for cremation for the two of them last year. She's gotten meals from a couple of friends, including Ronald darling. Her best friend was over today, helping to clean up Bob's bedroom; her son is coming up from North Carolina. I helped move the area rug in while I was there.
So, these are the lessons that I thought I learned when daddy died, and again when mama died.
But I look around and talk to Ronald darling and realize that I ain't learned nothin' yet.
  • Husband and wife should know how to pay the bills.
  • Husband and wife should know where the policies are.
  • Passwords should not be secrets in a marriage.
  • Declutter, sort and pitch.
  • Declutter, sort and pitch.*
  • Clean, sweep and mop.
  • Make sure the laundry is done and put away.
  • Keep the dishes done and put away.

If I don't do these things, someone else will when the time comes. It may be family, which will be bad enough. They know you pretty well. But it might be the Relief Society, and even though they love you, they will find out they didn't know you as well as they thought. They will ask "Why on earth was she keeping this?" and "How did she ever find anything?" and "Why didn't she ask for help?" and (maybe) "Why didn't her visiting teachers tell us she needed help?". And if it is the he who is gone, they will put the questions in present tense, but whisper.

I also need to learn how to make funeral potatoes; they taste great and I won't get any when I'm gone. If you've got a good recipe, let me know.

*This item is listed twice on purpose because it takes twice as long as anything else you have to do.

Monday, August 31, 2009


I hate midnight phone calls, I really do. Unless there is a baby due somewhere, they rarely bring good news. The one tonight, although slightly before midnight, was not about newborn babies.
Our neighbors across the street are older (yes, even older than us!) and in poor health. We got an emergency call from them a few months ago. Bob was unresponsive - I thought stroke. But his wife called us instead of 911. We called for the rescue squad while trying to get him to respond. It took 8 days in the hospital and a diagnosis of "We don't really know", but he came home and did great. He went back to doing all the cooking and took care of his wife when she had a second knee replacement last month.
But tonight, he was not breathing. And his wife called us instead of 911. I called as soon as we got there; no pulse, no respiration. Ronald darling tried CPR at the request of the 911 operator. He had to get Bob's teeth out of his mouth first (I know, sorry about that) and then made an attempt. But it was obvious that he was gone. He was cold, his eyes were open, no blinking, no pulse, nothing.
The rescue squad got there very quickly, although it always seems like forever. They asked about a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) but he didn't have one and she said to do "whatever it takes". So they spent the next 30 or 40 minutes trying to bring him back, they put in an IV and did who knows what all else. Six EMTs working in a bedroom about 10 by 10. They were getting ready to put him on a stretcher and take him to the hospital when we left. She had called her stepson to come down; he lives just around the corner. He and his wife were with her when we came home.
If they get him breathing again, I will be shocked... and grateful. Bob is a real sweetie.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I like kissing.
When I was a young single gal, several decades ago, before Ronald darling, there was another young man who wanted to marry me. Really, there was! He was in the city temporarily. He worked for NCR and was here for training for about six months. He was going to work for them for a few years (his plan) and then go back to Indiana and buy a pig farm. Okay, that was a little off putting, but I could go along with it. I'd never been on a pig farm and had no idea what it would be like, so I was willing to go along with that. But he was not a great kisser, he was not a good kisser. In fact, he was a lousy kissser. I was very young, didn't know much about it, but I knew that my last boyfriend was a good kisser because we sat on the porch and did it for a long time.
So when my suitor finished his training and left, I just let him go. I wanted a good kisser!

I was reading a friend's blog yesterday. Her daughter is going from home school to middle school and she wanted to include some of the things that boys might suggest. Kissing techniques popped into her mind.

Whenever tongues enter the conversation, I am reminded of a talk I had with a young single sister a few years ago. I don't know why people come to me for advice - maybe it's because I'm always right and never wrong and I know everything. Anyway, she was dating the first young man that actually seemed like he might be "the one". Her question?

"How far down your throat does his tongue go before you have to talk to the bishop?"

So I went on my first and only date with Ronald darling and he kissed me. On the first date! And the rest, as they say is history.

I really like kissing. And this song is inspiration for the activity.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

In The Olden Days

Well, not olden days to me, but olden days to a bunch of you.

Laundry day was Monday. All the laundry was washed on Monday and hung on the line in the back yard to dry. The line always sagged, so you propped it up in the middle with a wooden 1 x 2. Usually you had 2 or 3 lines, that way you could hang the underwear in the middle or in the back where the neighbors couldn't see it.

When the clothes were dry, you brought them in the house, laid them out on the kitchen table and sprinkled them with water from a little doohickey stuck in an old soda pop bottle. Then, you folded them up, stuffed them in a zippered plastic bag and stuffed them into the refrigerator. Overnight. Really.
That was because Tuesday was ironing day. That's all you did, all day long, was iron clothes. That included the handkerchiefs, the sheets, the dresses, the skirts and blouses and Sunday go to meeting clothes. Not the underwear, we got a break on that. When I was a kid, my mama taught me how to iron, starting with the handkerchiefs. She put one of the kitchen chairs up to the ironing board with the back against the board. I stood on that and ironed. The reason we sprinkled the clothes and put them in the refrigerator overnight was so they would be universally damp in the morning. That's because there was no steam in the iron, it was just HOT. Lick your finger and tap the bottom of the iron. If the spit sizzles, it's hot enough. Really. But of course, you didn't teach a kid to iron too young. I was 6 or 7 when I started that. And I was really proud of myself. I ironed the folds into daddy's hankies and I was a big girl!

By the time I was married with a home of my own things had changed some. We didn't hang or sprinkle the clothes, because we had steam irons and dryers. But when you're ironing and you realize that it's work and not a privilege, you need SOMETHING to do while you iron. That's when I started watching soap operas on a regular basis. I watched for two hours every day. Four soaps, two hours because they were only half an hour long.

I watched CBS' entire lineup. Love of Life, As the World Turns, The Guiding Light and The Edge of Night. It took up a portion of the day, but wasn't too bad. But in 1977, they expanded all the soaps to a full hour. That took up half the ding dong day! Unbelievable! So I quit cold turkey. Mom tried to keep me watching one, so we'd have something to talk about, but I sucked it up and just said No!

The Guiding Light has filmed the last episodes this week. They are going off the air. That show has been broadcast for 72 years. I know, I know. They started on the radio, then went to telelvision with 15 minute episodes. Amazing.

But I haven't watched soaps in years. Now I just watch endless reruns of Andy Griffith and NCIS, not in that order. ;)

Monday, July 27, 2009

So, What Would You Have Done?

First, a little wine, er, whine. It was a long day. I worked 9 hours, my feet hurt, I had a big project to work on... yadda yadda blah blah! LOL
I got home and Ronald darling had made some wonderful mini-meatloaves. Delicious! Only one of them was on my diet, but I ate two anyway! Honest, they were great. Ask him, he might give you the recipe.
So dinner was over, and I decided to go to Wally World. It's not very far; about 10 miles round trip. I went, I looked around, found the things I was looking for plus a pound of strawberies. Simple. I didn't lose the car, I didn't go over the budget I set for the trip and I was home by 8:00. Success.
And then I unpacked the bags. Wait a minute! What's this?!? I have an extra bag. The cashier gave me the last bag from her previous customer. Someone who is planning a wedding and has a toddler at home and is very concerned about getting everything done in time. I was not eavesdropping! Okay, okay, my ears weren't closed when she was talking, of course I heard her. She was only three feet away, for crying out loud!
And there's the bag, sitting on the table. Three bananas, a six pack of ready to eat pudding and a small container of fresh blueberries. It doesn't belong to me.
And, shame on me. I paused. I paused!!
I mean, I don't have little children at home who have to be taught this very important lesson. You know, so they can tell the story in Sacrament Meeting some day. "I remember Mama. Poor thing dragged herself out of the house when she was SO tired and worn out just to return a little bitty teeny weeny bag of groceries. What a GREAT mama!"
I paused. I told Ronald darling what happened maybe thinking that he would tell me not to bother going back, it's not my fault, I shouldn't feel guilty, another yadda yadda blah blah
He said, "Too bad!" Such sympathy. So off I went, to return the bag of groceries.
At the Service Center I got a very strange look and a "thank you for being so honest". That's it. Of course, I didn't want a fuss made. Not supposed to be doing my "good works to be seen of men", but would a $5 gift card have been too much to ask? LOL
So, do you have limits to how far you'll go, how inconvenienced you'll be, how tired you have to be?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Beautiful Music

We had a wonderful, sweet experience at church today. The Relief Society sang a beatiful piece in Sacrament Meeting, "Behold the Wounds in Jesus Hands". The words are so touching and the sweet sound of the sisters was amazing. I didn't get an exact count, but about 60 beautiful women sang.
I especially love the fourth verse which ends:

Then as you fall to worship Him
And wash His feet in tears,
Your Savior takes you in His arms
And quiets all your fears.

This is a version of the piece (we sounded better). Thanx to all the sisters who sang and especially to Angie our sweet accompaniest.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

One Small Step

I was feeding my little 6 week old baby girl; eyes glued to the television... Just unbelievable!

Friday, July 3, 2009

When I Grow Up

When I grow up I want to be just like this lady. Whaddaya think?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

My Other Life

I have this other life that I would like to be leading. Not instead of the one I have, just a different one. I am here in the midwest, but in my fantasy life I would be near New York or Los Angeles. I would be one of those people that looks familiar, but you can't quite place them, you know? That's because I would be a bit part player on television. I'd show up in all kinds of shows, just for a few minutes, but everyone would say "Oh, I really like her, she should have her own show!" But I never would. Then when I looked familiar, you would recognize me and the paparazzi would follow me. Don't want that, just the familiarity. Cool, right?
But there's not that much doing in Dayton.

My other other life involves singing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. But since I don't live within 100 miles of Salt Lake City, that ain't gonna happen. Ronald darling refuses to move there. Too many Mormons, not enough Latter-Day Saints, he says. Besides, it has a mandatory retirement age of 60... I'm there already.

So I'm down to my other other other life. I auditioned Friday for the Bach Society of Dayton .
The audition wasn't as tough as I thought and....... I made it! I'm in! Maybe I'm as good at something as I think I am! The concert series for next season hasn't been announced yet, but I know that the first performance will be in German!

They still need voices in all parts. The only down side for most of my friends.... rehearsals are on Monday evenings. You'd have to rearrange FHE! LOL I've got the contact information if you're interested; let me know!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Who Is Your Role Model?

1) Pick your Favorite number between 1- 9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....
5) Add the digits together
Now, go to the comments, find that number on the list and you will see who your role model is. Really, it works!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Meeting Meant For Him

I watched an Education Week address this evening by John BytheWay. The title was "The Best Three Hours of the Week" and was given August 16, 1999. It was a wonderful talk about getting the most from our church meetings. It included this poem, which he did not write and can't attribute. He found it stuck in a hymn book in church.

"There was envy in the glances that a lovely woman cast
At the hairdo of her neighbor while the sacrament was passed.
And a teenage girl I noticed, though a timid lass and shy
Watched a youthful priest intently through the corner of her eye,
As he sat behind the table where the water trays were spread.
She was not remembering Jesus nor the prayer the priesthood said.

There was nothing reverential on the things the Cub Scout drew
On the pages of the hymn book till the sacrament was through.
Not a thought of Jesus’ passion entered careless elder’s mind
As they whispered to each other and the girls they sat behind.
And the high priest’s brow was furrowed as he stole a secret glance
At his check book’s dismal story of his failure in finance.

There were hundreds in the chapel but the worshipers were few
And I couldn’t help but wonder what the Lord himself would do.
I couldn’t help but wonder what the Lord himself would say
Had he walked into a meeting where his Saints behaved that way?
Would his loving eyes be saddened, would his countenance be grim?
While he there observed and listened to a meeting meant for him?"

Monday, June 8, 2009


You know how you read and read and SUDDENLY, something jumps off the page? I love that feeling, but frequently wonder where my head was before. Sometimes the stupid pills kick in and sometimes the enlightenment pills kick in! LOL

I was reading one of the Priesthood Session talks from this past General Conference the other day when it happened again. It was President Eyering's talk which I always love, but one sentence, one phrase just leaped at me.

Now, before I go on; I know that we are involved in the Lord's work, that we are his hands in many ways. That he plans on us doing the work, that he aids us in doing the work, the we have a responsibility to do the work.

Here's the statement that struck me:

"Whatever part you play in that priesthood visit (he was talking about home teaching to Aaronic priesthood holders), your desire to go to the people for the Lord to help them will bring at least two blessings. First, you will feel the love of God for the people you visit. And, second, you will feel the Savior’s gratitude for your desire to give the help the Savior knew they needed." April 2009 Priesthood Session

I don't think it ever occurred to me that the Savior was grateful to us for what we do. After all, he doesn't need us to do the work, he doesn't need us to finance the work, he doesn't need our testimonies. He could do it himself. Or so I thought.

Ronald darling tells me that I'm wrong - that the Lord does need us. It isn't that he couldn't do all the work, but that would defeat his plans. But gratitude? Really?

And then I thought of a conversation I had the other day about mud pies. Your kids made/make them. They want to share them, so they offer you one. Do you not say Thank You? And aren't you really pleased that they are developing social skills and sharing skills? And aren't they cute when they are trying to be grown up like you?

What about when you are cleaning or raking leaves or pulling weeds and they want to help? You say Thank You, you are pleased that they want to help, that they are learning a good work ethic. Maybe that's similar to the Savior's feelings when we help him with his work.

I hope he doesn't roll his eyes when I leave the room!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Creative Puns for Smart Minds

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, “Keep off the Grass.”

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21 A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

Wish these were original, but I found them here.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Laughing Out Loud!

Have I mentioned that my daughter is wonderful? Well, she is. Don't tell her I said so. ; )

I check her blog regularly and today I just laughed out loud! You'll love this, I promise.

***Update. I just tried to read my daughter's blog to Ronald Darling... tears rolling down both our faces, we were laughting so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Missionary Moment

I taught the Plan of Happiness today. That wouldn't be a big deal if I was on splits with missionaries, or if Seminary wasn't over for the year, or if it was FHE with the grandkids. But it wasn't any of those things.
I'm sitting at lunch with my supervisor and another staff member. And it's a small staff, only 10 people in the department. The supervisor turned the conversation to "what's it like in heaven?" Who gets there, what's it like, and can you punch somebody that you don't think deserves to be there? The other employee thought that those feelings of wanting to punch somebody's lights out would probably go away by then.
I asked her what she thought it would be like and she said maybe just like here, or maybe just floaty stuff. Boring? I asked. Maybe, she said. My supervisor asked, So why do you think we're here?
And there was the opportunity! They had invited me to join them for lunch and my supervisor has asked me religious questions before. He knows I'm LDS and comes to me for Biblical clarification. So, I went through the Reader's Digest version; we only had 15 minutes left.
We existed as spirit children of the Father before this life. We were part of the two-thirds who were NOT cast out of Heaven with Satan and the other third of the hosts of Heaven. We chose to follow God's plan and come here to learn and to grow to obtain physical bodies and develop relationships. That we would have time to learn more even after we left this life. That we were to become like God.
The thing that seemed to blow them away was the idea that this life wasn't random, that we are here because we want to be here, we had an active part in the decision. And yet, it seemed logical to them.
What a blast!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Physical Fitness

As I've gotten older (inevitable) and heavier (not inevitable), it has occurred to me that I could reverse one portion of the equation and possibly not feel the other. So I have reviewed a variety of phyiscal fitness programs, mostly by sitting on my ample posterior and watching infomercials.

But this morning I saw one that is The first 50 seconds of the video are kind of silly, sort of a warm up exercise, but then you see some strength and flexibility. Trust me, you will want to be in such good shape!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

God Bless America

One of the greatest blessings in my life is to have been born a citizen of the United States of America. While many nations enjoy similar freedoms and similar opportunities; the creation of this nation was inspired by God, our Heavenly Father.

We are blessed to live in this free country and have a responsiblity to keep it free.

President Harold B. Lee, speaking of liberty, said, ‘Man possesses human dignity because he is made in the image and likeness of God; it is this image that makes man different, that makes man a son of God. Without this image, man has no free will and frequently neither liberty nor the capacity for liberty.’ He further said, ‘In this struggle for freedom, at home and abroad, our greatest weapon, both a sword and a shield will be our love of and faith in God.’

I love parades and fireworks and the patriotic music of this country. I stand for the national anthem and sing it through tears. I sing "God Bless America" with similar feelings.

From Kate Smith's biography: Today's younger generations may not be familiar with the origin and history of the song Irving Berlin considered his most important composition. It was written during the First World War, for an army camp show where Berlin was stationed: Camp Yaphank on Long Island. The show's producers rejected it as too jingoistic, so Berlin placed it in a trunk of rejected manuscripts. There it lay for twenty years, until Ted Collins, manager of popular singer Kate Smith, approached Irving Berlin for a new patriotic song for Kate to introduce to mark the twentieth anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War I. Berlin had recently returned from a trip to England, during which he was saddened to see signs of another war in the making. He was more thankful than ever to come back to his peaceful adopted homeland (his family had come to America from Russia when Irving was a small boy), so he was motivated to answer Collins' request, on Kate's behalf.

After several days of futile attempts to write a new patriotic song, Berlin remembered the one he had written in 1918. He asked his secretary to retrieve it from the trunk, and he made a few changes to the lyrics. Now Kate Smith was the No. I popular songstress in America in 1938, and her weekly Kate Smith Hour was heard by many millions of radio listeners that Thursday, November 10. The shy composer was invited to attend the show, but he declined, opting to listen with a few friends in his office at his music publishing company in New York. Kate sang it as her closing number, after which Berlin's phone began to ring, as people began to ask, 'Where can we get that song that Kate Smith just sang.?" Berlin was so touched by those calls that he decided to attend the rebroadcast three hours later for the west coast audience. At the conclusion of the broadcast, Kate called Irving to the stage and gave him a bearhug that swept him off his feet!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

City Life 2009

I've lived in this area for ages. All of my adult life and half of my teen years. I really like the size of the city, not too big, not too small. It has philharmonic and pops, opera and ballet. And for the past three years it has brought the City Life sculptures downtown. This is the final year - too bad, they are great!

There are fifteen life size statues placed around the downtown area and a 25 foot statue of King Lear on Courthouse Plaza. These pictures were taken as the statues were being readied for placement. The display is here until August 14. Parking on the street is free evenings and weekends. There are maps of where they are next to King Lear on the Plaza. Ya gotta see this!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Guaranteed to Make You Smile!

Even if you are a grump, this will make you smile. And I really needed to smile today!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Wonderful Mother

We are way down south in Dixie, visiting our daughter, her husband and their two sons. We drove down last Saturday and will be here a few more days.
We participated in their family home evening Monday, which was much more structured than anything we managed when our kids were young. Their six year old conducted the meeting, and even, when prompted, welcomed the visitors! LOL
Every morning, during breakfast they've read scriptures together. The oldest boy just turned 10 and is in the 4th grade. He reads above his grade level, but then so did his mom, his dad and his uncle. Genetics may have something to do with it. The youngest just turned 6 and is in kindergarten. He also is able to read from the New Testament. I am just amazed.
Mom was reading the parable of the creditor who forgave the 50 pence and the 500 pence debts. Jesus asked Peter which one was more grateful. She stopped and asked the boys if they understood and to teach them compared it to them owing money... who would be more grateful.
The older boy said, I know what that's about. The creditor is Jesus, and the debts are sins. And when he forgave the debts, he was forgiving their sins. You could have knocked me over with a feather!
My daughter is a wonderful mother!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Six Destructive Ds

Elder Kevin W Pearson spoke in the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference. His topic was "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ". A portion of his talk was devoted to the things that impede development of that faith, the six destructive Ds.
  • Doubt - a lack of confidence, inconsistent with our divine identity as children of God
  • Discouragement - comes from missed expectations
  • Distraction - a lack of focus
  • Diligence, the lack of - a reduced commitment to being true and faithful
  • Disobedience - choosing to turn from what's right
  • Disbelief - hardening one's heart against truth

Distraction and the lack of diligence are natural to mortal life. The six don't have to lead to each other, although they frequently do. But distraction and the lack of diligence track me like hounds. Combined, don't they mean procrastination? That comes natural to me too! LOL

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I Have A Plan

The president asked that if others had a plan for the budget , to let him know. I have a plan.

  1. Cut business taxes to 12%. Businesses do not pay taxes, they pass them on. Tax is a cost of doing business. They are either passed on to customers in the form of higher prices or lower quality, passed on to employees in the form of layoffs, lower salaries or higher production rates, or taken from stockholders in the form of lower dividends. We have the second highest corporate tax rate in the Western world. It needs to drop like a stone.
  2. Allow health care insurers to sell across state lines. Let them treat the entire nation as one large "group". Require that they cover pre-existing conditions and catastrophic illness. Continue Medicaid to cover needs based people. Eliminate employer based health insurance. By using the nation as a group, prices will be lower than stopping sales at the state line. Employers will be able to pay their cost of insurance directly to the employees. They will also save the cost of administration of insurance, allowing prices to fall, salaries to increase or dividends to raise.
  3. Drill here, drill now! Expand current forms of energy production. Just the announcement will panic OPEC and force them to keep prices at least as low as they are now. They will hope we go slow and continue to import from them for several years. Have research into alternative sources of energy proceed, but don't invent "green" jobs. Let the market determine the rate of growth.
  4. Keep the Bush tax cuts in place until passage of the FairTax. In addition to it's other advantages, the Fair Tax will solve the funding issue for Social Security and Medicare.
  5. Did I mention, no more bailouts!! No more federal interference with business.
  6. Have all departments of the federal government audited by Clark Howard and Herman Cain.
  7. Eliminate all programs that are not authorized by the Constitution of the United States of America.

I think I'm done for now. But in case you haven't seen this.... enjoy!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Lemonade Award

My good friend Nancy nominated me for this award. I love awards you can be nominated for, but don't actually have to win, but still claim! LOL
I don't usually think of myself as a making lemonade from the lemons life hands you type. However, just now I was watching the news conference and realized that I will be making lemonade for the next few years. Y'all stop by for a cup, it'll cost you a quarter! (A girl's got to make a living!)
I know so many who have already been awarded this prize..... and so many more who deserve it. I can't choose, the pressure's too much, you can't make me!
So, if you had a bad year, a bad month, a bad week or a bad day; or if you watched the news conference, you are nominated! Grab the prize and go for it!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Swashbucklers, Away!

Have you seen this one yet? It is FanTasTic!!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Evidently Not A Stroke

My neighbor is doing well today; his wife and I went down to visit with him this morning. He has completely lost the memory of yesterday and is frustrated by that. He will be in the hospital for a few days while they try to figure out what caused the episode (probably NOT a stroke) and make sure it doesn't happen again.
Again, I'm glad I was here for them, but next time I'm gonna get out of Dodge. Just sayin'.

It Doesn't Pay To Take A Day Off

I scheduled a week off work, thinking that we'd go down to see family in NC. But the car needs tires and brakes, so we scratched the trip. I decided to take two of the days anyway, yesterday and today. Get some rest, play a little, get a little sewing and spring cleaning done.

But the telephone rang yesterday, my neighbor in a panic. Her husband was unresponsive and having difficulty breathing. Can we come? We took off running (literally just across the street). I called 911 and Ronald darling went to make sure he was still with us. The township response was very quick (thanx Nancy). I moved some furniture so they could get a cot in, kept her out of their way while they tended to him and then drove her down to the emergency room. We met his daughter, son and daughter-in-law there.

As of late last evening he was responsive and stronger. She's already spoken to him this morning he is doing well. Everyone's first thought yesterday, including his nurse daughter, was that he'd had a stroke. I haven't heard confirmation of that, but I'll find out shortly. I am taking her down to see him in a few minutes. I really am glad that I was here for them, but these aren't the days I had planned.

Remind me that if I take time off work to get out of Dodge!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What is wrong with what we know?

I was talking to a friend last night and we touched briefly on political issues. Briefly, because we want to stay friends and we are on opposite ends of the spectrum.
He said that he was against President Bush because Bush was anti-science. One of the examples he gave was that the NASA budget had been cut by 80% during his administration.
I didn't believe that was true, but had no evidence at the time. I reminded him of the president's plans for additional Mars missions, but he said that was just for show.

So, I did some research this morning on the NASA budget. Over the last 8 years, NASA's budget increased by over 27 per cent.

I don't know where my friend got his figures, but he believes them and they strongly affected his opinion. Accuracy in current and historical information is absolutely essential.

Friday, February 27, 2009

If You Can Read This Without Laughing..

I didn't write this; I wish I did.

Jedi don't pick their noses, and other things I never thought I'd say

I always planned on speaking cheerful, positively constructed words of guidance to my children — never making "no" statements, but rather describing what actions they should take instead, making encouraging conversation, and never letting slip a snarky comment. That, of course, was before I became the mother of small boys. Here are words I never thought would come out of my mouth.
10. Don't lick that railing.
9. Don't pick your nose.
8. Don't lick your brother.
7. That bag is not a toy.
6. That's a big poop. Good job.
5. Bye-bye, poop.
4. If you lick that cookie, that's the one you take.
3. Big boys don't pick their noses.
2. Don't lick anything.
1. Jedi don't pick their noses.
Please tell me you've said worse.


Monica 1:02 p.m. Feb. 26, 2009
My three year old son got on an elevator and the doors before I could grab him. When I caught up to him he sadly said "Mommy, I on the alligator and you weren't there."
My response? "Honey, you should never ride alligators without your mother!"
Or "If you want some cheese, how about you ask me and I'll cut you a piece, rather than taking bites out of the block."
Or how about: "We don't pour corn flakes in the toilet" Yup, I actually said it.

Ken 1:36 p.m. Feb. 26, 2009
Dad's get to say things too -
Don't put the gerbil on your sister!
Who is eating the shortening?
What did you do with my golf balls? Let's go unplug the toilet - again.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Sweet, I Think

The audio is Greek, but there are English sub-titles for my non-Greek speaking visitors.

I was not that good a mommy. Well, wait, maybe I was. I just don't remember! LOL

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance

This is the title of an article in the March issue of the Ensign. The newest issue is not available on line, but it is reprinted from a previous issue here. It is the text from a talk Marion G Romney gave in General Conference in October of 1982. Seeing that he spoke 30 years ago on this subject; it is truly amazing the insight he had into our day.

Consider these passages from the talk:

"Since the beginning of time man has been counseled to earn his own way, thereby becoming self-reliant. It is easy to understand the reason the Lord places so much emphasis on this principle when we come to understand that it is tied very closely to freedom itself."

"Many programs have been set up by well-meaning individuals to aid those who are in need. However, many of these programs are designed with the shortsighted objective of “helping people,” as opposed to “helping people help themselves.” Our efforts must always be directed toward making able-bodied people self-reliant."

"The practice of coveting and receiving unearned benefits has now become so fixed in our society that even men of wealth, possessing the means to produce more wealth, are expecting the government to guarantee them a profit. Elections often turn on what the candidates promise to do for voters from government funds. This practice, if universally accepted and implemented in any society, will make slaves of its citizens."

"We cannot afford to become wards of the government, even if we have a legal right to do so. It requires too great a sacrifice of self-respect and political, temporal, and spiritual independence."

He that hath an ear, let him hear... (Rev 3:6)

Insight on Love

When you are raising children, you know you are inadequate. That their spiritual, emotional and intellectual needs are greater than your ability to provide. Fortunately, parenthood is a co-operative effort between us and Heavenly Father. Reading my daughter's Valentine's Day comments on her blog yesterday, I realized* that He did his part excellently. She turned out great!

*Not that I didn't know that before! LOL

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Days of Debate?

I just heard a report on Fox News Radio about the "compromise" on the Stimulus/Recovery Bill. The reporter said that after "days of debate" a compromise had been reached between the House and Senate versions of the bill.

Excuse me, but um, NO. The measure was passed in the House on January 28 after being introduced on the 27th. That was 2 weeks ago. It passed in the Senate on Tuesday of this week, the 10th after being introduced on the 3rd. The compromise was reached yesterday, one DAY after the Senate vote.

They have not had time to read it, understand it and certainly not to discuss the differences. This whole thing is a crock!

I'm disgusted. Really!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Gene Kelly

I was talking with friends about Gene Kelly, movie musicals, favorite songs, favorite scenes, etc, etc and yada yada... LOL I love musicals, I love to sing but I never learned to tap dance, or ballet. Today I was watching one of my favorite Gene Kelly movies, "It's Always Fair Weather". It has an amazing dance sequence; all on roller skates!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

There Is Something About Kids

My oldest grandson enchanted my extended family when he was younger by singing "I Am A Child Of God". He was about 3 and it was brand new to them. The sound of a child singing is a beautiful thing, even if it isn't perfect. Of course, my grandson sounded perfect, but I don't have him recorded.

I found this little angel though. She's not singing "I Am A Child Of God", but she is singing my absolute favorite arrangement of "The Lord's Prayer".


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Herminator's Intelligent Thinker's Movement

When in the course of human events...

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the
Pursuit of Happiness.

We, the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect union, establish Justice, ensure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Gives you goose bumps, doesn't it? Our founding documents are inspiring and as close to scripture as any sectarian document can be. The Declaration of Independence also says "That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

A man I greatly admire, Herman Cain, believes that we must Take Back Our Government. In his words, "We, the people, must be able to provide succinct and intelligent feedback to Congress frequently and persistently. We can then hold them accountable intelligently at election time, which is our only leverage for holding their feet to the fire."

Have you called your Senator, your Congressman, your governor or your mayor? Have you told them what you want them to do? Have you written to them, emailed them? If you agree that our elected officials are not responsive to our wishes, check out H.I.T.M. If you don't agree with Herman, no problem. Find your own way, but let's take back America!

Monday, January 5, 2009

8 Things

1. Post rules on your Blog
2. Answer the 6 "8" Items
3. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving them a comment.

8 Favorite Shows
  • NCIS
  • Monk
  • Psych
  • What Not To Wear
  • Glenn Beck (it will be when it starts Jan 19)
  • Andy Griffith
  • Designed to Sell
  • Good Eats

8 Things I Did Yesterday

  • Read the Sunday School lesson before class ;)
  • Directed music
  • Read blogs
  • Studied Seminary lesson
  • Cooked dinner
  • Flirted with Ronald darling
  • Emailed an old friend
  • Went to bed on time!

8 Things I Look Forward To

  • No mortgage
  • Losing 60 more pounds
  • Retirement
  • Dental Work (really)
  • Seeing my kids and grandkids
  • Dinner at Tumbleweeds
  • Seeing my brother and sister in law
  • Vacation

8 Favorite Restaurants

  • Tumbleweeds
  • Texas Roadhouse Steakhouse
  • Applebees
  • Olive Garden
  • Red Lobster
  • Spaghetti Warehouse
  • Any Chinese Buffet
  • Cici's

8 Things on My Wish List

  • Singing with the Mormon Tabernacle choir
  • On stage in The Music Man (or any other musical comedy)
  • Riding in a hot air balloon
  • Enactment of the Fair Tax
  • 401k returning to last year's balance
  • Promotion and raise at work
  • Appearing on What Not To Wear
  • New house in new location

8 People to Tag

  • Crazy Town
  • Hudson Haven Happenings
  • Run Run Rudolphs
  • You Always Burn the First Pancake
  • Williams Family
  • Crazy and Happy Home
  • Just Another Day in Paradise
  • And the secret tag-ee; are you it? Let me know!