His wife is coping, but she has some difficult times coming up, not just the loss of the husband that she loves. Bob handled all of the finances for the family, and he did it online. I'm not sure she knows how to turn on the computer; she definitely doesn't know any of his passwords. She has a friend who promised to teach her how to use it, and of course, Ronald darling volunteered me to do it. lol
He took her to the funeral home today to get everything straightened out, she had prepaid for cremation for the two of them last year. She's gotten meals from a couple of friends, including Ronald darling. Her best friend was over today, helping to clean up Bob's bedroom; her son is coming up from North Carolina. I helped move the area rug in while I was there.
So, these are the lessons that I thought I learned when daddy died, and again when mama died.
But I look around and talk to Ronald darling and realize that I ain't learned nothin' yet.
- Husband and wife should know how to pay the bills.
- Husband and wife should know where the policies are.
- Passwords should not be secrets in a marriage.
- Declutter, sort and pitch.
- Declutter, sort and pitch.*
- Clean, sweep and mop.
- Make sure the laundry is done and put away.
- Keep the dishes done and put away.
If I don't do these things, someone else will when the time comes. It may be family, which will be bad enough. They know you pretty well. But it might be the Relief Society, and even though they love you, they will find out they didn't know you as well as they thought. They will ask "Why on earth was she keeping this?" and "How did she ever find anything?" and "Why didn't she ask for help?" and (maybe) "Why didn't her visiting teachers tell us she needed help?". And if it is the he who is gone, they will put the questions in present tense, but whisper.
I also need to learn how to make funeral potatoes; they taste great and I won't get any when I'm gone. If you've got a good recipe, let me know.
*This item is listed twice on purpose because it takes twice as long as anything else you have to do.